Go for Gold!
When dealing with people mine for gold
Gold miners process tons of rock to find a tiny amount of gold. We can have better relationships if we treat people the same way. Look for the gold in them, look for the good and excellent things they do and look for the good in who they are. Because of the diversity of people (and vive la difference) there will always be people who do things differently from us. Someone will always think differently from us.
When it comes to marriages, opposites attract. Therefore irritations are inevitable. However, we can choose to cherish our differences and work out how to maximise the benefits of two different ways of thinking, two different perspectives.
We can ask
What is good about my husband or wife?
What is good about my children?
Overlook the ore or rock and look for the gold. Bring out that gold and cherish it. Focus on it: Think about it, talk about it.
God asks us to think about the best things in people:
– Whatever is true,
– Whatever is noble,
– Whatever is right,
– Whatever is pure,
– Whatever is lovely,
– Whatever is admirable
If anything is excellent or worthy of praise think about these things.
People are like a box of chocolates. Some are crunchy, some are sweet, some are nutty, some are chewy but all are delicious in their own way. Without each one we would not experience the diversity of life and of people.
God created the world good. Evil has distorted this creation. Although good and evil exist side by side in all of us, the base pattern is from God and is good. Sometimes it is easy to see the bad side of people rather than the good pattern of creation in all of us.
Recently I made a comment to a businessman friend of mine, about a woman who has a reputation for nasty comments and being uptight. When we were discussing people at that workplace I made a comment.
‘What a wonderful woman she is.’
‘Not everyone sees her that way.’ He replied.
I responded, ‘Yes, that is true, but she is made in the image of God so the template is just fantastic. She doesn’t always show the character of God on the surface, but the foundation is there and we can help draw it out.’
What do you think would happen if you treated people as if you were mining for gold, if you concentrated on the good in them?
Everybody has gold inside them. Some people display it, but with others we have to do a little searching. If we want good relationships it is important to look for these nuggets and focus on them.
List some good things about your wife, husband and children.
What can you do to concentrate on these characteristics?
You may wish to continue the list on a separate page and put it in a folder that continues to grow and becomes a record of the wonderful things you see in your loved ones. Do the same for people you work with and mix with socially. Then, in any instance you are annoyed with them you could pull out this list and read it. This may help restore a balance and affect a change of focus. It may be a good idea to go through this list on wedding anniversaries. If you are not yet married you could write your observations (your record of appreciation) in your own handwriting and give it to your spouse on your wedding day as a special gift.